A Wedding Day Benediction
Before my baby sister walks down the aisle
Dear Kinsley,
After a lingering eleven month engagement, the day has finally come— your wedding date is here. By the end of the night, you and Kaleb will be husband and wife.
You’ve heard it said the events of today go by in a flash. Countless hours spent in preparation, meticulously planning who will sit where and taste testing cake flavors, only to reflect on the evening and realize you never made your way to table twelve or tasted a bite of cake beyond the remnants hanging onto your lips after the cake smash. But as your big sister, whose own wedding took place nearly a decade ago, may I offer this benediction for your big day and beyond? Consider it one last wedding present before the day ends.
May your wedding day linger longer than your engagement— like the summer days of your childhood when the sun refused to set as you sprawled out on a towel, the last bits of chlorine still clinging to your hair as popsicle juice trickled down your arm, may the minutes of today feel like hours, in the best possible way.
As the barista hands over your customary “bride” coffee, while you watch the makeup artist affix teeny tiny lashes to your eyelids; as you step into that long white gown, and while you prepare for the ceremony ahead—may you capture these flashes with more than just your camera, but in your heart. May you slow your racing mind long enough to take a few mental snap shots and remember there was joy in the before, not only in the after.
As your bridesmaids clink glasses with one another in the bridal suite or comically dance around you in an attempt to stave off any cold feet, may you take a moment to appreciate their presence. May you relish the honor of these women gathering around you with the sole intent of celebrating your love. How lucky you are to be surrounded by such rich friendship on this day!
As you float down the aisle toward your groom, whether he’s all smiles or smiling through tears, may the sight of your husband-to-be eclipse every other sight in the room. As you stand hand in hand, exchanging vows, promising to love each other forever and ever, like a ship anchoring in its harbor, may the weight of your covenant seep down deep into your bones, forever a reminder of the refuge you are to be for one another from this day on.
When the ceremony ends and someone makes a tequila run for a margarita refills before dinner is even served or that one uncle lingers in the corner during the private last dance meant for you and your new husband, may you remember these hiccups give your wedding character and a story to tell nine years later. Much like marriage, the best weddings are the ones where the couple learns to pivot with grace.
When a prickle of sadness over empty seats creeps in or disappointment over unfulfilled plans threatens to steal your joy, may you soak in the details that have manifested and delight in their beauty. Notice how the flowers are arranged in their vases— a shock of vibrant color contrasted exquisitely against the bright white walls. Take note of how the sunlight streams through the blue glassware and smile at the memory of how each one was lovingly procured. Listen to your guest’s laughter ricocheting off the rafters as they gather in groups, old friendships reuniting, new friendships beginning. Take pleasure in the splendor all around you and find contentment in what is.
May you make every effort to acknowledge the people who have traveled far and wide to celebrate you on your special day, but when the music belts through the speakers and the DJ hits play on your well crafted playlist, may you make your way to the dance floor and dance, dance, and dance some more. When everyone is belting the bridge to Cruel Summer at the top of their lungs, while you’re standing hand-in-hand with your groom in the middle of the crowd, may you look around and appreciate that for the first and last time, everyone you love is in the same room, at the same time, having the best time, in honor of your love. And then get back to dancing.
However, above all, may the love you share with Kaleb on this day linger for a lifetime.
After the fanfare fades and a new couple steps into the spotlight, may your love for each other linger.
Through the growing pains of navigating a new city and new friends and married life, may your love linger.
After the shine of newlywed life wears off and the grind of every day life sets in, may your love linger.
As trials of many kinds come your way and he litters the kitchen counter with mail and sunglasses and gum and you throw box upon box into the garage with no regard for how they may fit into the recycling bin, may your love linger.
If children come into your family and work is busy and you feel like ships passing in the night, with barely a moment to complete a thought, let alone a sentence, may your love linger.
And if the people you were on your wedding day ever feel like very different versions of who you are today, may your love linger anyway.
Dinner
Did I mention my sister is getting married this week? On the day you’re reading this, we will be stuffing our faces with chips and queso and tacos and margaritas, but as for the day I’m writing this, we are in full on prep mode. I am hosting a bridal brunch on Thursday morning at my house (past tense by the time this note hits your inbox), then we will trek out to the wedding venue a little over an hour away to rehearse and stay the night, and finally the wedding will be Friday. My roles include Matron of Honor, Mother of the Flower Girl, Wife to the Wine Supplier, Big Sister to the Bride, and Oldest Daughter to the Bride’s Parents.
This is a very long way of saying I am not cooking much. So this week our meals are looking a lot like leftovers, sandwiches, takeout, and thrown together “charcuterie boards” (as someone who makes boards professionally, I put this term in heavy quotations because the emphasis really is more on the thrown together part of that term and less on the charcuterie board, as evidenced by the above picture.)
Rave
My husband and I go in and out of after-the-toddler-goes-to-bed-together-TV-time phases. Sometimes it’s nice to have a movie or show we watch together, but sometimes it’s nice for him to watch hunting videos on Youtube and for me to watch Housewives on Bravo. This is the phase we’ve been in for awhile, but just this week we re-entered together TV time and watched Hit Man on Netflix and let me tell you— it was a delight!
Hit Man is an action comedy staring Glen Powell and Adria Arjona and wowowow, their chemistry is off the charts. But like I said, this isn’t just a romantic comedy, it’s an action comedy, so it has a little something for everybody. Glen Powell’s character is a true nerdy professor who moonlights as a fake hit man in the sting operations. When he falls for a potential client (Adria Arjona), chaos ensues. We both enjoyed this movie so much, even more so knowing it was loosely based on a true story told in Texas Monthly.
I’m very curious to know about other couple’s television habits though, so weigh in…
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Linger."