Treat Yo'Shelf

Where reading and hospitality collide

As we’ve mentioned a time or twenty, Kelsey and I love words, and that love stems from a love of reading.

One of our joint core memories took place in elementary school, probably third grade, when we took a road trip with our moms to visit an old neighbor who had moved away.  The plan was for our moms to pick us up from school and immediately hit the road. Lucky for us, road trip day happened to coincide with book fair day. If you grew up in the 90’s, you KNOW what a big deal book fair day was. Honestly, I’ve been chasing that high ever since and nothing hits quite like a room full of new books and posters and unsharpened pencils, just begging to go home with you.

When it was finally our turn to shop, we each meticulously selected the books that would serve as our entertainment on the 5 hour drive and happily hopped in the van to begin our journey (it was the 90’s, of COURSE we were in a van). The only problem was, probably 30 minutes into our trip,  I (KA) remembered the unfortunate fact oh how I cannot read in the car without becoming extremely motion sick. I was so bummed to not be able to read my new books, but KB, in an act of true selflessness, saved the day by letting me lay in her lap while she read out loud from Lizzie Logan Wears Purple Sunglasses. I’m pretty sure by the end of the trip she read the entire book to me, all 128 pages. It was a bonding experience we have never forgotten.

Fast forward about 20 years to my baby shower, where KB gifted me the exact copy of LLWPS and I cried. It was the most full circle moment and I couldn’t believe she had kept it all these years. Now that we both have daughters, I can’t wait for us to gift the book back after I read it aloud (not in the car) to my daughter. Except we’ll have to wait until they’re much older than we were because it was not the most appropriate book for third graders, which is maybe why it has 2 stars on Amazon.

Sharing the books we love isn’t a new concept, but two summers ago, I decided to formalize this practice into an event known around here as Treat Yo’Shelf.

To date, I have hosted 6 (with the 7th coming up next week) and it’s become a tradition I anticipate each quarter. If you are a lover of books and reading, I want to outline the basics for you as an encouragement to adopt this practice in your own life, because hospitality + books are where many of our passions collide. Let’s dive in. 

What

For starters, you might be asking, what even is a book swap? Well, it’s exactly as it sounds— a book swap is a gathering of fellow readers to trade beloved books. I encourage people to bring books to match the season. For example, my last swap was in the fall so everyone was instructed to bring something with a fall vibe. We had an array of cozy mysteries, thrillers, and stories set in quintessential autumn towns.

You can opt for a seasonal theme, you could stick with the classics, a certain type of genre, or just have people bring any book they love. Find what works for you. I try not to give too many stipulations because I want to keep the barrier to entry low for new people.

Next week’s swap is around Valentine’s Day and the theme is “love.” I prompted attendees to interpret this theme however they wanted— a love story, a book by an author they love, a book on a subject they love, etc., etc.

Why

So many hosting opportunities are either dependent on the calendar, feel too intimate for acquaintances, or are not the right fit for all of your friends. Inviting your new neighbors over for dinner can feel a little too intimate and I don’t necessarily want to subject my childless friends to my daughter’s birthday party on a Saturday afternoon.

Book swaps are a great opportunity to include people from all facets of your life because the only thing everyone needs to have in common is a love of books— they are an equal opportunity event. And while you definitely do not have to host them on a recurring basis, I love knowing there is always a swap coming up where I can invite a new friend because it’s a low stakes way to include new people and get to know them better. 

As an aside— before I had kids but after I was no longer considered a newlywed, I struggled to find community. So many social opportunities for women my age were predicated on being in a certain life stage and if you didn’t fit squarely into that mold, finding your place was challenging. I lingered in this social gray area for many years and I so badly wish I would have started doing this back then as a way to combat the loneliness I felt. If you find yourself not fitting into a cookie cutter life stage, or are friends with people who don’t, I can’t recommend this type of party enough.

Another practical reason why book swaps are a delight is the most obvious— you walk away with a new book having spent no money. I started hosting these swaps when I became overwhelmed with my overflowing bookshelves. OBVIOUSLY I wasn’t going to stop reading and while libraries are great, sometimes the pressure to read a book in a certain time frame is too much. Book swaps are economical in that they allow new books to cycle through your shelves while saving you money.

Which brings me to another “why”. These swaps expose you to books and genres you may not otherwise interact with. When I hosted my first swap and asked people to bring their favorite summer read, I worried everyone would show up with light, fluffy, beach reads because those are what I gravitate to in the summer. I was so pleasantly surprised when I discovered there was a mix of beach reads, memoirs, thrillers, and fantasy. So many genres were represented and everyone was exposed to something new. 

Who

The only prerequisites are a love of reading and a physical copy of a book. That’s it. Book swaps are the perfect opportunity to mix your book loving BFFs with that girl you met at the gym or the playground and your new neighbor. It’s a low stakes way to include new friends and old friends alike.

The first swap I hosted, I worried how all the attendees would mesh. I anticipated awkward silences and stilted conversation, but the power of books prevailed. Yes, people discussed other topics, but even people who didn’t know each other could carry on a long conversation about their similar tastes in reading or why they loved or hated a certain book. It was very cool to have a dedicated time to talk almost exclusively about all things literary.

When

This is another part of a book swap’s magic— you can host them whenever you want. Most parties or hosting opportunities revolve around specific dates on the calendar. A birthday party, a Super Bowl party, a Christmas cookie exchange, they all are time sensitive. But a book swap can take place at any point in time. I started hosting them early last summer and have continued hosting them quarterly, but find whatever rhythm works for you.

Where

I host my swaps at my house, but you could get a group together and trade off hosting duties if signing up as the sole hostess is too daunting. Around here, everyone piles in my living room, strewn about on the couch, chairs, the hearth, the floor, wherever—there is nothing fancy about it. 

How

Okay so after all of this you may be like, I get it, book swaps are great, but HOW do I even do this thing? Great question, let me tell you.

I start off with a simple evite or Facebook group invite. I am a long time lover of paper invitations, but since I host these so often, I don’t have the bandwidth or budget for that. Maybe someday, but for now, digital invitations work great. On the invitation, along with normal event information, I explain to bring a wrapped book with a quote from the story written on the front. More on that in a second.

As for the setup, I provide a few light bites and drinks for everyone (some generous attendees bring their own snacks to share) but I have made a conscious effort to not go over the top. In my wildest dreams I would love to have literary themed cocktails (Tequila Mockingbirds and the like) and thematic snacks, but I know I would burn out too fast trying to make that happen every time, so I have vowed to keep it simple. But if you want to go all out, by all means, please do and send pictures. 

Now, as for how the game is actually played, it’s pretty simple. As I mentioned, everyone brings a wrapped book with a quote from the story written on the front. We all gather around and draw numbers. The person who drew number one chooses their book with only the quote on the front as their guide (or maybe they choose the one with the prettiest wrapping, who knows?). Once they unwrap their selection, the person who brought the book gives everyone a brief synopsis and tells why they love it.

The game is then played like Dirty Santa (or whatever your region calls this) where number two gets to choose next by either choosing a new book to open or stealing from the first person. Stealing is what makes the game fun (if you’re hosting, might I recommend stealing to spice things up if no one else has).

The book can be possessed three times (a person opens it and it can be stolen twice, but you cannot immediately steal a book back) and on the third possession, it is frozen. The person who was stolen from then gets to steal from someone else or choose a new book. This goes on until everyone has a turn. And at the very end, the person who drew number one has the option to steal from any (non frozen book) one last time and trade with that person. 

Whew. That sounded like a lot, but as with most games, once you play, you get the hang of it pretty quickly. 

In addition to bringing a book for the official swap, I encourage people to bring extra books to trade at the end of the party. A great example of this is my friend Mackenzie who brought a YA fantasy book, Caraval, to the first swap. Some people were super into this genre and some people, like myself, were skeptical. However, after the initial swap, the person who walked away with the book brought it back for someone else to read, then they brought it back the next time and so on and so forth. At this point, I think about half of our regular attendees have read it and wouldn’t you know, I was one of them and I even went on to read the second book in the series. This also increases the chances that everyone will go home with something they love in case the book they ended up with in the swap wasn’t their first choice.

I hope reading the ins and outs of this type of party has left you invigorated to host your own. Take this outline, put your own twist on it, and start gathering your fellow bibliophiles for an event you’ll all love!

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Dinner

Dinners in my house this week have been abnormal. My husband has had work events that have kept him out of the house past dinner time and when that happens, girl dinner prevails. I don’t think I’ve cooked a proper dinner all week and I couldn’t even tell you what we’ve eaten. Chicken nuggets? Bagels? Cereal? Cheese? Who’s to say? And to really throw us off, tonight we are going to a dinner with his work team. Here’s to hoping my child will eat some sort of meat at her grandparent’s house tonight because it’s been bleak over here.

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Rave

In the spirit of books and reading, I want to share a series my book swap introduced me to. If you’re unfamiliar, The Thursday Murder Club is a series about a group of septuagenarians who live in the peaceful retirement village of Cooper’s Chase working to solve crimes.

These books are the ULTIMATE cozy mysteries and in my opinion, are perfect for this time of year. These characters will make you laugh, will touch your heart, and the story will keep you engaged until the end.

My friend Anna brought the first book to a book swap last summer and someone else ended up taking it home. Unable to wait until they finished it, I ordered my own copy the very next day. I’m currently finishing up the second of the four book series and can’t wait to keep reading.