Craving//Connecting: The Magic of Being Three

You said Mommy, come look at the Christmas lights! And I said be right there. You looked up with wonder as the bulbs twinkled in the twilight. I sat next to you, the cool grass pressing into my thighs.

I offered to let you help hang ornaments on your Christmas tree and you loaded three onto one branch, stood back, and declared your work perfect.

You wrote letters to Santa and Jesus, pictures scribbled on white paper in orange crayon. I deposited them in the mailbox.

I asked do you want to go somewhere I used to go as a little girl? And you said yes as we rode the escalator up, up, up to the children’s section of Barnes and Noble. You squealed with delight Curious George! and Fancy Nancy! and We’re Going on a Bear Hunt! I caved bought you books, just weeks before Christmas.

You mused aloud when will it be my birthday again? And I explained for the fourth time that day how your birthday just passed. You planned out your next four parties anyway.

I showed you where the ice skaters’ blades left their marks on the frozen rink. You told me you should probably get your own pair of skates.

You begged me to call Santa and I said we would have to make an appointment, he’s a very busy guy, after all.

I took you to The Nutcracker and you wondered if you would be performing. I told you no and you pouted. You said if they ask me, can I get on the stage? And I said yes. You cried and said you wanted to leave midway through the show when no such invitation was extended. I coaxed you to stay with a box of M&M’s.

You wanted Anna and Elsa to come and play at our house and I told you that Arendelle is very far away.

I drove past the Grinch inflatable in our neighborhood, despite him being out of the way. You waved and exclaimed there he is!

You coaxed us into taking a family walk to look at the rest of the decorations adorning our neighborhood. I put on my coat and grabbed us flashlights to shield us from the cold and darkness.

I left you alone in your room; you insisted you could dress yourself for bed. I resisted the urge to fuss when you came out with your Snoopy pajamas on backwards and ballet shoes on the wrong feet.

You requested songs about God and then changed your mind to Moana not a second later in the car on the way to school. I joined you in belting out for as long as I can REMEMBA. You said again and I said okay.

I rocked you back and forth in your glider, moonlight creeping through the drawn curtains in your room. You snuggled into me, eyes closed, and softly murmured will you keep checking on me?

You proposed we go back to “the place I went as a little girl” and I walked with you hand in hand, your thumb pressing into my palm, consciously slowing my pace to savor the steps. You’ll only be three once and I want to swallow up every precious moment. There are times when being three is hard—so hard, for both of us—but there are glimmers, especially during this holiday season, that are pure magic. You, my dear, are pure magic.

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This post was inspired by

mary g.

’s prompt this week, which was to alternate between “I” and “you”. Check out her Substack for more fun prompts like this one! I’ve been following along for awhile but this was my first time trying one out for myself.