For the couple of weeks, I have been mulling over the calendar as it relates to our family rhythms—the patterns and routines that make up our year.
The thought occurred to me after listening to this episode of the 1000 Hours Outside podcast, which I shared about last week. In the episode, guest Mary Jo Hoffman presents the idea of micro-seasons, stemming from the Japanese concept of 72 micro-seasons. Rather than only adhering to four long seasons controlled by the Earth’s tilt, the traditional Japanese calendar segments its seasons further into 24 solar terms (called sekki) and divides these divisions again into 72 micro-seasons (called kō), which depict “small changes in nature against the wider backdrop of the season.”1
Marry Jo draws on this concept in her book, Still: The Art of Noticing, where she displays photos she has taken of nature every day for the past several years. When speaking about the project, she talks about how noticing these small changes in nature gives you a new appreciation for how rapidly nature changes and what beauty lies before us, if only we stop to notice. While listening to the episode, though, I was overcome with the notion of how this applies to family life.
How often do I find myself overwhelmed during a hard parenting season and feel as though it will never end? How easy is it for small rituals, practiced almost unknowingly, to be carried out unnoticed? How many times have I felt like we don’t have enough family traditions and then feel the need to add in more, more, more? How often to fail to get still and practice the art of noticing?
Have you felt this, too?
I decided to adopt this concept and list the micro-seasons in my family’s life. The results were surprising. While I wasn’t able to come up with 72 predictable micro-seasons, I did brainstorm 35. Some were obvious and came to me right away. Others were unexpected—patterns emerged I had never noticed before. Still others were a bit more inconspicuous, revealing themselves with just a bit of thought. Here is what I came up with:
Aldinger Family Micro-seasons
January 2-January 31: A fresh start. Riding the high of New Year’s resolutions, keeping a quiet schedule, resetting from the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.
February 1-7: Texas usually decides to have its first and last “snow” of the season, meaning a light dusting on the yard and driveway that likely melts away before the afternoon, but work and school is cancelled anyway. We bundle up and take obligatory pictures to document the momentous occasion.
February 8-23: After a month of dormant celebrations, we are back with some sort of Galentine’s Day extravaganza or baby shower. A special dinner, either at home or out, to celebrate Valentine’s Day and acknowledge our dating anniversary exactly a week later.
February 24-28: False spring lures us out of our warm house and usually to the zoo to make good use of our annual passes.
March 1-15: March is the season of overlap. Not quite spring, but not quite winter. The first part of March is always Houston Rodeo season. Even still, we have somehow managed to make the trek back to Houston to celebrate rodeo season despite the miles. Country concerts, wine garden, livestock show, chili cook off—no matter if we are there in person or in spirit, the beginning of March signals rodeo season in our hearts.
March 4-23: Birthday parties galore. So many people we love and celebrate were born in March, so rodeo season bleeds into birthday season.
March 5-20: Back patio and outdoor dining season begin. While some days are still cold, there are enough warm days to coax us outside on a consistent basis and start to make use of our backyard again.
March 14-25: Spring break usually signals what my friends and I lovingly refer to as WWW (Wine Wednesday Weekend). A group of friends from college and I had a weekly wine Wednesday back when Luke and I lived in Oklahoma as newlyweds. After we moved, we have pretty consistently gotten together in some capacity each spring and fall. As a matter of fact, they were visiting me in Houston the weekend the world shut down in 2020 and that trip will forever live in infamy as our last weekend of life as we knew it.
March 17-31: You’re not a true Texan until you’ve forced your child to smile in a patch of bluebonnets while you snap countless pictures. The blooms typically start to emerge right around this time and you better believe I am an active participant in this ancient parenting tradition.
April 1-16: With Easter’s date ever changing, by nature, so does our annual crawfish boil, but they typically fall in the beginning of April. Every year, on the Saturday before Easter, as a way to bring a bit of Houston to Fort Worth, we host a large crawfish boil. It is our favorite tradition and way to invite people from all areas of our life to come together and experience some of the finest Cajun offerings.
April 9-17: We tend to head West around this time in April, typically to California. One of the perks of Luke’s job is frequent trips to wine country, so when we can swing it, I will join him at the tail end of his trip and we will spend several days in San Francisco, Sonoma, or Napa.
April 12-30: Another tendency we hold in April is to make or be dealt some big change. Whether it’s a move, a miscarriage, a new dog, saying goodbye to our foster son, or hard diagnosis, for as much as I love the promise of new life in spring, I always take pause because history tells me some big change is on the horizon for us.
May 1-10: Closing ceremonies for the end of the school year. Dance recitals, the last days of BSF and school. All the structured activities we are a part of come to an end for the summer.
May 4-17: Celebrations galore. Whether it’s a wedding, shower, or graduation party, you can pretty much guarantee we’ll be celebrating someone or something during the beginning to middle of May.
May 7-14: Mother’s Day typically falls somewhere within here and every year I count it joy that I hold the title of mother.
May 15-31: The emergence of swimsuits and splash pads, swimming pools and popsicles. Spring turns to summer at the end of May.
June 3-12: With the beginning of June and the reintroduction of water, we set our sights on swim lessons. Sometimes for an entire summer, sometimes for a couple of weeks, but when summer starts, so does exposure to learning to swim.
June 13-30: If it’s the middle of June, you can likely find us on a summer vacation. Whether it’s the beach or the river, Florida or Texas, us Aldingers love to soak up the sun sometime during middle to late June.
July 1-4: 4th of July celebrations—fireworks, swimming pools, the annual donning of my old stars and stripes swimsuit. Watermelon, gathering with friends, country music wafting through speakers. Some of my favorite memories take place during these few days.
July 5-17: We reach peak summer. Settled into lazy days with no set to-do list, fall schedules are still out of sight. We soak in the calm before the crazy begins.
July 18-August 5: The crazy begins. Birthday cake, champagne, presents, quick overnight getaways, celebratory dinners. Our anniversary, my birthday, and Luke’s birthday are all crammed into a two week period.
August 6-September 1: The gear up for fall begins. The ordering of backpacks and back to school outfits. Crossing off last minute summer bucket list items. Hearing from new BSF leaders and school teachers. Our brains begin to switch gears to the structure that lies ahead.
September 2-15: Fall opening ceremonies. Campbell’s birthday, Trader Joe’s fall foods on display, boxes of fall decorations make their way from the attic to my house. Preparing for, hosting, and cleaning up from Campbell’s birthday party. New toys littering the living room rug. College football takes up its rightful spot on Saturday’s television lineup.
September 15-October 1: False fall. Begging the weather to match up to the calendar. Sipping PSLs while sweating. Wearing sweaters with shorts. Contrasts abound.
October 1-13: Until I started working on this project, I was unaware of how we often take a trip in the fall, usually at the beginning of October. Destinations have ranged from upstate New York to the Dominican Republic and everywhere in between. While this year my trip occurred in early September, I didn’t even realize how the beginning of fall usually means travel for us in some capacity.
October 4-16: Something I did realize was our tradition of going to the same local pumpkin patch each year to usher in pumpkin season. We try to get our visit in early so as to avoid the crowds and despite the heat, our visit always signals the start of October to me.
October 19-29: While the pumpkin patch is synonymous with October in my eyes, Luke’s version is Oklahoma State University’s homecoming. He has always said the weather doesn’t cool off until homecoming weekend and while there’s no scientific proof of this, I’ve come to adopt this mentality, as well. We might not make the trek to Stillwater every year, but this is a tradition that has been held dear throughout the entirety of our relationship.
October 19-30: During this time is also when we take family photos, either with our family of three or Luke’s extended family. I love having family photos taken at this time of year because they occur right after Campbell’s birthday and just in time for needing Christmas card pictures. The photos we have from the past few years are some of my absolute favorites.
October 31: Halloween. Pumpkins carved, leaves fallen, costumes worn. Paper pumpkins painted and hung in the kitchen, chili made and set out for family and friends to gather around before trick-or-treating.
November 1-19: A brief pause and reset before the crazy month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Weekend hunting trips begin in earnest for Luke. The last remnants of summer clothes are officially packed up and put away. Friendsgivings galore.
November 23-29: Thanksgiving typically falls between these dates. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in the morning. My Grandmommy’s stuffing in the oven. Feasting with family over the course of several days. Over the years, this has slowly become my favorite holiday.
November 20-November 30: The brief overlap of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Growing up, I staunchly held the belief that Christmas could only begin after Thanksgiving was over, but as an adult, I understand how much work it takes to make your house magical for the Christmas season. These days if it means putting our tree up the week before Thanksgiving, then so be it. Much like summer fades to autumn, I’ve come to enjoy this slow fading of Thanksgiving into Christmas.
December 1-19: Christmas parties and gift exchanges with friends. Presents purchased, wrapped, and placed under the tree. Christmas movie marathons every night. Soaking in the winter wonderland our home becomes.
December 20-25: The countdown is on. Riding The Polar Express. Christmas pajamas. Baking cookies. Christmas Eve church service. Christmas Eve parties with friends and family. Joy on Christmas morning after Santa has come. Breakfast casserole. Celebrating with grandparents and cousins. Stress and joy coexist.
December 26-January 1: My favorite week of the year. Lounging quietly at home, recovering from the crazy while enjoying new toys and books. Reflecting on the past year and dreaming of the year to come.
This was such a fun and powerful exercise, as it helped me paint a clearer picture of our family culture. While we have easily identifiable values and traditions, categorizing our family’s micro-seasons helped me recognize those which aren’t so conspicuous. It forced me to notice the patterns and routines we repeat on a yearly basis.
Now that we are squarely in the -ber months, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap and feel as though your family doesn’t measure up. If you perceive those feelings encroaching upon you, I encourage you to try this exercise for yourself. You might find your calendar holds milestone moments you failed to recognize or it may help you narrow in on the exact gaps you want to fill rather than feeling like you need a rhythmic overhaul.
While my daughter is a bit young to participate, this would be a fun activity in which to include older kids or to do with your spouse for an at home date night. I’ll actually be curious to see if Luke agrees with my list or not… Don’t let yourself get bogged down with nailing the exact dates, most of mine are estimates. In this case, it truly is the thought that counts.
Whether you feel like your family’s calendar is chockfull of rhythms and routines or you worry you have no mile markers guiding your path, I encourage you to get still and practice the art of noticing. You might be surprised at what you find.
I’d love to hear some micro-seasons that either come to you right away after reading this list or ones that take a little more time to make themselves known—comment below, it might give someone else an idea of something they can incorporate into their own!
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/11/how-embracing-72-japanese-micro-seasons-could-change-your-garden-and-your-life
What a fun idea to figure out the micro-seasons of your family!!