Connecting The Dots: October

Photo by Kerstin Wrba on Unsplash

As October comes to a close, I feel like the host of a competition show, biding farewell to a voted off contestant early in the season.

“Goodbye October, we barely knew you.”

Between Texas’ insistence on holding on to summer weather for as long as possible (I swear it gets longer every year) and my surgery, I truly feel like I had no time at all to enjoy October’s offerings.

When feelings of regret and missed opportunities threaten to swallow me up, I have to actively fight against them, reminding myself of all the ways I have soaked in this time.

A trip to the pumpkin patch with dear friends. Sitting next to my daughter in the backyard, eyes to the sky, watching flocks of birds fly by overhead. Lunch picnics in the front yard. Family walks down the street to marvel over the Halloween decorations. Countless games of Sneaky Snacky Squirrel. Backyard s’mores around the fire.

I also have to remind myself, again and again and again, how I am still healing.

In case you missed it, a couple of weeks ago I had a laparoscopic surgery to excise endometriosis from my body. While they were inside, they found a good bit of endo. The doctor also ended up taking my appendix because, in his words, “it had a kink in it”¹, which dramatically increased my risk of appendicitis. Who knew?

As a result, I have four incisions across my belly.

In all my years of fertility treatments, I am used to rallying immediately after any sort of procedure. While Luke would be preparing my IVF shots, I would be upstairs bouncing a crying baby and after I injected myself, was right back upstairs to console him again². The day after my egg retrieval, we headed to the Christmas tree farm where we trekked through countless options to pick out our own tree. Once we moved from Houston and had to travel back for embryo transfers, I gave myself the luxury of a one night hotel stay before heading back home and getting back to business. During a hair appointment I excused myself to the teeny tiny bathroom to administer a progesterone shot and sat my booty right back to the chair for a couple more hours.³

In short, I am not used to extended recoveries. This is uncharted territory for me.

When I planned my recovery time, I made sure my daughter was taken care of the day of and after my surgery, and at the last minute decided to “splurge” on asking if she could stay with my parents an extra night so I would not have to solo parent 2 days post-op when Luke went back to work.

“I should be fine by Monday”, I told everyone.

But wouldn’t you know it, Monday rolled around and I was not fine.

Each day I feel better and better, but I am still not 100%. Every time I have to ask Luke to pick something up off the floor for me or have to tell my daughter for the tenth time I can’t hold her, indignation rises up within me.

When will I be back to normal?, I wonder.

Over and over I need the reminder to rest. To let my body heal. To not push too hard.

While no one loves to kick back and binge Real Housewives more than me, true, extended rest does not come easily to me, especially in marriage. When I see Luke taking over every duty, I feel guilty, like I’m not earning my keep. He has assured me he does not feel this way, but still, I can’t help but feel like I’m not pulling my weight. A day or two of being taken care of is nice, but an extended time of not being at full capacity is something else.

The Lord is using this time to remind me that my worth is not tied to what I can do—it never has been and never will be.

As my friends and family reiterate how they don’t expect me to do it all during this time, Jesus reiterates how I never can and never will be able to do it all. He’s the only one who could ever be enough and because of His work on the cross, I am enough through Him.

He’s using this season to teach me how to abide. To not worry that we haven’t checked every fall fest off our list or decorated pumpkins or worn every Halloween outfit in our closets. To release the guilt of not being able to lift my three year old or keep the house picked up or stay on top of laundry. By abiding in Jesus, He will give me exactly what I need for today, and He promises to do the same for you, as well.

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Reading Roundup

I have to admit, my reading game hasn’t been very strong this month, but I did manage to finish the final book in Abby Jimenez’s Part of Your World series—Just For The Summer. I really enjoyed this book! The only way I would’ve enjoyed it more is if I had actually read it in the summer, but alas, I did not. Now that I’ve finished the series, I will definitely read her other series and I’m thankful to have a new author in my favorite author toolbox. If you’re on the hunt for a new rom-com series where the characters actually have some depth to them, I highly recommend reading these books in chronological order (starting with Part of Your World) to enhance your reading experience!

My friend Kaitlyn gifted this book to me after my surgery (along with a pair of socks I will mention later) and I tore through it. I was predisposed to like this book because I adore Sophie Hudson and Melanie Shankle on The Big Book Cast, but my praise extends beyond just liking her as a person. Reading through this book on leadership based on Exodus and her own experience caused me to reflect on my own life through a lens I hadn’t before. While Christian women have varying stances on the role of women in leadership, no matter where you stand, there are takeaways for everyone here. It will also make you fall a little more in love with Moses.

Entertainment Honorable Mentions

I’m going to get this out right at the beginning—I have watched an ungodly amount of television this month. Before my surgery I was down with a sinus infection that left me bedridden for an entire weekend, so to say my tv and I became well acquainted this month would be an understatement. I just needed you to know that I know it’s a lot. These shows don’t include all the Bravo shows I have kept up with, either.

The Great British Baking Show is back on Netflix and if this show doesn’t scream comfort to you, I don’t know what will. While I wish they would release all the episodes at once, there is something nice about only having one episode a week to watch. If you haven’t started yet, though, there are 5 episodes waiting for you!

This was the perfect sick weekend binge. It kept me hooked episode after episode, but unfortunately, the ending felt really rushed—I wish they would have spent less time showing characters dramatically staring out windows and more time wrapping up loose ends. Still, it was nice for what I needed it to be.

Listen. You’ve already heard everyone rave about this show, so you don’t need me adding to the noise. I’m just here to say yes, it’s a great watch. I only wish I had watched it sooner. I saved it for after my surgery and by that point, everyone was amping it up SO much, it’s only natural it couldn’t totally live up to the hype. I’m sad I didn’t watch it right when it came out because I love following Erin Foster (the show’s creator and who the story is loosely based off of) on Instagram and had been anticipating the debut for awhile. Maybe if you haven’t watched yet, let the hubbub die down a little before you start and then you’ll be primed to appreciate it for what it actually is.

I heard about this in a Facebook group, of all places, and decided it would go on my list of recovery shows. For a show whose premise is to create the next worldwide girl group partially based on fan voting, you would think it would have more hype, but once you start to watch, you’ll realize why it was marketed so poorly (hint: because everyone was in charge, no one was in charge). Come for the premise, stay for the chaos is all I’m going to say.

Taking a hard left from reality tv, I will leave you with a podcast episode I can’t stop thinking about. As I’ve mentioned before, I am walking through The Artist’s Way with a cohort of women and as I listened to Episode 364: Rekindling Childhood Passions That You Put Away with Mary Jo Hoffman, so many themes in the book were brought to mind. The power of dailyness, the freedom of letting yourself explore the passions of your youth, the advice to start where you are with what you have—all of it is so encouraging to anyone who may be feeling stuck and is yearning for a creative outlet, big or small.

What’s Cooking

Last month, I went to a book signing with some friends for Carline Chambers’ new cookbook, What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking. Little did I know how much I would need these recipes in the weeks to come. I truly have not cooked much this month—I’ve depended on Luke’s grilling, meals brought from friends and family, and lots of take out. When I have cooked, though, it’s all come from this cookbook. I love how she divides the sections not by type of food, but by cooking time, so I can search by time rather than sifting through every dinner option. Some of my favorite recipes so far include: garlicky grains with asparagus and sausage, peanut chicken chop, and sausage and kale pasta. With Christmas coming up, this would make a great gift for the reluctant chef on your list.

Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty

For my birthday in August, I cashed in the spa day Luke won for me at a golf tournament.⁴ Part of the package was a facial and at the end, the esthetician applied the most luxurious lip gloss to my lips. It seriously lasted all day and made my dry lips feel so hydrated—I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks afterwards. It wasn’t like a typical lip gloss you’d apply over lipstick, it was like a thicker version of the the beloved Laneige lip mask.

One day while I was daydreaming of this miracle gloss, I was rummaging in my makeup drawer and rediscovered something I had purchased back when my daughter was a newborn. I hadn’t worn it in forever because back then I considered it too thick, but when I applied it this time, it had the exact same feel of the gloss from the spa. For the Laneige superfans, this will sound like sacrilege, but I have replaced my sleep mask with this Revision Youthful Lip Replenisher and haven’t looked back. My lips are significantly less dry and cracked and every time I apply, it feels like I’m adding a little luxury to my day.

I will say, this lip treatment is more than I typically spend on lip products of any kind, but I bought a second tube during the recent Prime Days, so keep an eye out on Black Friday. This would also make a fantastic gift.

As I prepared for surgery, I wanted to find some super soft nightgowns, as I knew I’d have several abdominal incisions. After lots of scouring through Amazon, I decided on these nightgowns and I have not been disappointed. They’re incredibly soft and long enough to not be sexy but short enough to not be matronly, which is exactly what I was looking for. I sized up to account for bloating, but I wish I would have just ordered my normal size because they’re pretty oversized as is, so there was really no need. These would be incredibly comfortable if you’re pregnant or recovering from a c-section.

I really did not intend for this to turn into a mini gift guide, but alas, here we are. As I mentioned, my friend Kaitlyn brought me A Fine Sight To See along with a pair of Barefoot dreams socks after my surgery, and these are said socks. Because they’re Barefoot Dreams, they are fabulously soft and comfortable and absolutely made the perfect recovery gift. If you’re looking to warm your own feet as we head into colder weather, or you want to keep some gifts on hand, I cannot recommend these enough. Pro tip: Nordstrom Rack typically has good deals on Barefoot Dreams products.

Practice Makes Perfect

I already waxed poetic in my introduction about resting and abiding in Christ, so I won’t belabor the point here. Although, as I said, I actually need those points belabored in order for them to stick in my brain, so if that is you, too, I’ll leave us with this benediction:

Like a branch abides in the vine, may we abide in Christ. Like an infant rests peacefully in her mother’s embrace, may we, too, rest in the embrace of our Creator. When the world tempts us to go more, do more, be more, may we listen to the still, small voice beckoning us to come and simply be. When our calendars are overtaken by events and parties and to-do’s, may we stop and inhale the reminder, “nothing can separate me” and exhale the truth, “from the love of God.”

1. I’m sure this is totally the medical term for this condition

2. If you’re new around here, we welcome our foster son into our home and two weeks later started IVF. To say we had our hands full would be an understatement.

3. If you’re familiar with progesterone shots, you know the injection goes in your booty and you know they are not easy to self administer because oil how thick the oil is. You also know best practice is to apply heat immediately after the injection and to move around to prevent painful lumps from forming. Everything about this scenario was against best practice. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

4. More golf tournaments should take note—include prizes for the wives and then they won’t mind so much when their husbands spend the day golfing. Win, win, win!